This is the real question we all ask at some point in our life, is anyone there? Am I alone here, in the crowd, in the world? This article is about those moments, the times when we wonder if we are from another planet because it seems like no one can understand our feelings, thoughts and …  Read More →

Charlie Cook said it right: whether you are in the elevator or on the phone, the way you start the conversation will determine whether or not it will continue. So many times we face the uncomfortable situation of meeting with a recently established contact and we just don’t know what to say. In …  Read More →

Empathy is the capacity to recognize or understand another’s state of mind or emotion. It is often characterized as the ability to “put oneself into another’s shoes”, or to in some way experience the outlook or emotions of another being within oneself. It is therefore the essence of …  Read More →

The elements of the engagement stance (Presence, Engagement, Empathy, Openness, Curiosity, Depth, Safety, and Collaboration) are so vital to good communication that I will post articles about all of them over the coming weeks. These eight points are the keys to the kingdom, and if you master …  Read More →

In my classes on Influence, we learn to identify 1) key behaviors that are at the heart of creating change and 2) “recovery behaviors” that represent what to do when things aren’t working as expected. Two generic recovery behaviors are 1) speaking up, and 2) training. It sounds easy; when a …  Read More →

Last time I wrote about Advocacy as an impediment to the logical give and take that distinguishes collaboration. I characterized it as a learned behavior, and one that can be partially or fully managed by a skilled communicator that recognizes it and knows how to steer a group around it. I …  Read More →

In communication, the single largest difficulty for nearly everyone comes when a critical discussion transforms from the logical “give and take” that I described in my last newsletter into something less productive. Two familiar forms of this are Advocacy and Defensiveness. I will talk about …  Read More →

For the last few weeks, I have elaborated on the elements of attitude that provide the best point of view from which to approach a discussion. Studying these elements and learning how to incorporate them authentically into your communication will help you remain collaborative and avoid falling …  Read More →

There have been many times in our lives when we have wanted to say something, but elected not to. Afterwards, we may wish we had and ponder why we didn’t. Sometimes, we remember when we said something and wish we hadn’t, or a time when we blurted something that was harsher than we meant it to …  Read More →

All of the components of the engagement stance are important, but if you miss out on authenticity, you will have a hard time establishing credibility. When someone you speak with lacks authenticity, it feels manipulative, even if there is no evidence of manipulation. Think of a time when …  Read More →

If you have taken any classes thorough Pathfinder, you may remember me saying that this is the season for rhetoric and persuasive speech. As we enter the last 40 days before the election, things will reach a pitch. It will be fun to see what you remember from class. For instance: · Can you …  Read More →

For businesses to run properly and efficiently, the need for well qualified managers is very essential. The management is the soul of any organization and without a proper management team any business might go haywire. Due to diversity in business policies and use of global marketing strategies, …  Read More →

In the world today we are faced with many choices. We are all built with the instinct for fight or flight when faced with confrontation. Recently I ran into a situation where I was faced with a rude, nasty response to a birthday greeting I had sent to an acquaintance through Facebook. I …  Read More →

People who are very shy often share some of the same fears that people who are afraid of public speaking. Some of the techniques that help people overcome their fear of speaking in public can help shy people improve their conversation skills and increase their speaking confidence. I spent …  Read More →

We’ve all been in a position where we wished we could take back what we said. In the case of an interview, the implications are huge in that saying the wrong thing could eliminate you as a candidate. Having conducted literally thousands of interviews, we’ve come up with a list of things to …  Read More →